This was an April Fool's Day post for 2022
We at TutorCruncher are delighted to announce our newest partnership with the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)!
Ever since the Pentagon published its report on UFO sightings during the summer of 2021, TutorCruncher has been busy thinking about the ramification of this news in the tutoring world. We had one big question: “When aliens arrive, who is going to educate them on human language, culture, and history?”.
It was this curiosity that prompted a conversation between TutorCruncher and NASA’s Taskforce on Extraterrestrial Intelligence.
Many productive conversations later, we can proudly announce that TutorCruncher will be the Official Tutoring Partner of Alien First Contact!
Lots of hard work has had to be done, and special arrangements have had to be made to accommodate the challenges that tutoring aliens will bring. In order to facilitate the integration of our intergalactic guests, here are some of the software developments that tutoring has been hard to work on for exactly this purpose:
In order to accommodate the possible 4-dimensional nature of our new students, TutorCruncher will introduce a Dimension Toggle, which will allow users to select the number of spatial and temporal dimensions that suit them best.
To allow for possible telepathy between tutor and student (which may well be the norm in alien cultures), TutorCruncher will be making TC Electrodes available to relevant tutors via post. These brain electrodes will come with a USB connection and be compatible with all modern devices, while also allowing non-Earth students to read all the electrical impulses inside a tutor’s brain, accessing all the tutor’s knowledge and their deepest held fears.
Wormhole Online Classroom
Aliens are likely very busy people and may want to take their tutoring while on the move, however no virtual classrooms currently on the market cater well to guests who are travelling at lightspeed while on a call. To overcome this issue, TutorCruncher is introducing its new Wormhole Online Classroom (WOC). The WOC will work by making a small tear in the fabric of time and space for each call participant. Lesson recording for this feature will be charged separately, though storing data about different space-time zones is currently in a closed beta.
These are merely the first few of all the new features which we plan to launch which will bring Earth one step closer to being able to competently educate any new alien guests who arrive on our planet.
Watch this space for more updates and as always, keep watching the skies!